O Holy Night

Today is Christmas Eve. The day Jesus was born. The day that we celebrate and rejoice the miracle of Jesus! 

So today I'm putting aside my own hang-ups with God and religion to really reflect on the birth of Jesus. I'm sort of like Blaine Warbler (for all my Glee fans) in that I express myself best through song. So why not take a deeper look into my all-time favorite Christmas song?! 

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shinning. The weary world rejoices For wonder breaks a new a glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh hear the angel voices. Oh night  divine. Oh night, when Christ was born.Oh night divine!
Truly He taught us to love one another. His law is love, and His gospel is peace. Chains shall He break, for the slave is our brother. And in His name, all oppression shall cease. Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, with all our hearts we praise His holy name. Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we, His power and glory ever more proclaim! His power and glory...ever more proclaim!

What I love about this song is the reverence it holds for Jesus and the majesty of this moment. My favorite part is the energy/build-up as they sing "Fall on your knees". This is something to be in awe of...something so glorious that our only response is to fall on our knees. This is such a moving image of the world responding to it's savior. We were lost in the muck and sin, and weary were we. Then...when we had lost hope, He appears and we experience the thrill of hope restored! The only response to the beauty and overwhelming love before us is to fall to our knees. What a divine night indeed. 

I love that the song also talks about the life of Jesus. It talks about His teachings, what He came to do, and what the outcome of His life was to be. Christ is the Lord over all the struggles that we go through. He is with each of us and cares deeply for us. His name is powerful enough to heal and remove oppression. Not only did He come to earth to be with us but he came to heal us. And it all began in his birth. His law is love and He came to teach us peace. 

Overall, this song speaks to me in a very personal and profound way. It reminds me that Christmas is not about the lights, the tree, or the treats (even though I LOVE all of those things) but instead about God leaving all the comforts of heaven to struggle and live life among us. He chose to arrive as a powerless and poor infant. I have many doubts and painful reasons why I have kept God at a distance for several years now...but this always reminds me why I have not given up on faith completely. THIS selfless and compassionate act will always profoundly speak to why I love and trust in Jesus. And this song reminds us that this wasn't just ANY other night nor was it any other birth. This was the birth of Jesus. O Holy Night. Fall on your knees...allow your soul to truly feel it's worth. Allow your heart to feel the deep love He has for you. Allow your spirit to feel the beauty and presence of God as we celebrate this joyous occasion. 

Below are some of my favorite versions of this song, sung by some of the most talented and beautiful voices I have ever heard. Their talent and vocal strength show the song the respect it commands. While Lea Michele will always hold a special place in my heart, Luke Edgemon moves me to tears each time. Enjoy....

Josh Groban 

Luke Edgemon 

Lea Michele on Glee.

Obsession Sharing Time!

Those who follow me on twitter have already been exposed to my crazy love for this band, but I realized the other day that not everyone is on twitter (a shame really). So I figured I would use my small blog platform to introduce my latest (and in my opinion...greatest) obsession. 

Walk the Moon. 

Ohio boys who play killer tunes, love dancing, and paint their faces! This band has brought me so much joy because of their music and interviews I've seen online. I was lucky enough to meet two members of the band at a recent show at Capitol Records and they were simply the sweetest, most genuine guys I've ever met. And that's saying a lot from me because I've met someone who was pretty gosh-darn genuine too (rhymes with Carren Driss). This may shock some who have heard me gab on and on about said genuine person, but I'm going to say it anyways...I like the boys of Walk the Moon more than anyone right now. I haven't seen ONE bad video of them live or otherwise. Their live show is outstanding! You can literally feel the positive energy vibrate throughout the entire building. They smile and dance around, interacting with the audience like no other band I've ever seen before. Vocally, they are the strongest singers I've seen in a long time. You can tell they truly understand music and take the singing aspect just as seriously as they do their guitars and drums. I don't believe this is true for a lot of bands out there today. The lead singer, Nicholas, is particularly sharp in his execution of performing vocally while playing along with the band. He continues to impress and amaze me with each new performance. 

This is an early performance, in a place close to my heart (Madison Square Park)

I saw an interview where they talk about having fun and being told by fans/audiences that they actually look like they are having fun on stage. And they do! They replied that they are having fun and want their audience to have fun with them. They know most bands just look down or get so "into" their music (which is fine) but they want to share that experience with their fans! I love them for thinking that way and taking their live performance so seriously. 

And that's just the beginning to my love affair with this group. But I'll leave you with the performance below, which I think showcases both their live performance, acoustic setting, and their personality as a band. Fun, energetic, but mostly joyful! It's also my favorite song, tightrope! This heart is burning up!! 

Enjoy!! 

12/12/12 and Prompts!

I've had this prompt in mind for a while now, and today seems like a good day to be a bit more creative than confessional/personal. Let's see what happens! 

I was... hoping to get this done without stress, but today's workload was too heavy. 

I am... looking forward to going home and possible shopping tonight! 

I think... that 2013 needs to be a better year than 2012 has been. 

I wonder...  when I'll be able to say "I love my job" and truly mean it (at least 90% of the time).

I wish... people were nicer/more selfless. 

I save... barely any money for my savings account. But I'm working on it!! 

I always... regret not working out before work! It feels so much better when I do. 

I can't imagine... what life will look like in 10 years! 

I believe... In God, even when He feels so distant. 

I promise... myself that I'll take better care of me and not take life for granted. 

I love... the power of music in my life. Gives me energy, removes stress, or helps me feel an emotion no other thing can. 

Well, that's all I got for today. Maybe I can make this a semi-regular piece here to constantly reflect on my day/week. This was fun!

So this happened.

I'm entirely sure how to feel about it either. I mean, I'm glad that it's "over" and I've submitted the application. But I'm also scared of what the future holds. I have placed a LOT on getting back into school and only affording it because of the discount I received by being a staff of the university. I'm not really sure what I'll do if I don't get in...but let's not think about that.

I figure I'll use this time to reflect on my journey towards submitting my application...

Working here has been a learning experience in patience, understand, and finding purpose. In the course of my almost 4 years working here, I've struggled to find my place, struggled to find purpose, and (on a daily basis) struggled  to be nice on the phone when I'm being yelled at for something I didn't do...

While looking for purpose or some direction in life, I found the Critical Studies Department within the School of Cinematic Arts and fell in love! From what I've researched, it's perfection in a program. It combines my true loves of TV-Film and Entertainment culture studies! After looking at other programs the university offers (and frankly being disappointed) I was glad to see the school have some program for people like me...those who like love entertainment but don't necessarily want to be a director or work on the production side of things. Working on a set would be awesome, but not sure that can be my full-time job considering it's frakking hard to do and doesn't get me going as much as lively discussions do!

So...that's it.

Now I wait.

And wait.

And wait more.

The future has a lot in store and I can feel the changes ahead. They're coming. Some I want to avoid (like the stress of work AND school) and some I am ready and open to accept (like getting to write papers again!).

If you are a praying person, I gladly welcome prayers and good vibes!

<3 Erika

Yay! We are doing a stationery card this year!

All Our Love Holiday Card

Create modern holiday cards with your photos at Shutterfly.

View the entire collection of cards.

WHOA.

Time is flyin' by these days. I feel like I have so much to write about and yet nothing at all. I'm not sure I can actually write out entire paragraphs at this point, but I do want to update some things that have been going on for the past 2 months or so:

• I'm applying to return to school to get my Masters in Cinematic Arts; specifically Critical Studies for the Fall 2013. 
• Taking TOOK the required GRE (which is a graduate school entrance exam) on Thursday, November 8th. 
• Been spending all my free time at coffee houses studying and trying to re-learn my entire high school education. 
• Realized just how awesome I am at algebra
• Realized how awesomely bad I am at all other math.
• Finishing up my actual school application which is due December 1st. 
• Looking forward to being done with this whole process and resting through the holidays. 
• Hopefully not stressing too much about whether I get in or not. 
• I enjoy making lists.
• I also enjoy wearing rings and watches. 
• I believe I'm starting a watch collection. I keep finding new watches that I love! 

One great thing that I've learned/remembered about myself in this process is how much I love academics. Even though I wanted to rip my eyes out studying ratios, exponents, and fractions, I still loved having something to study. I love working long hours on papers, researching topics, discussing viewpoints and discovering new ideas! This whole thing has really motivated me even more to get into grad school and pursue the academic study of media's influence both culturally and emotionally on us as people and as a society. 

I hope to make a new video this weekend and get back into the swing of things here as well! 

Humbled. Inspired. Moved.

I'm a frequent YouTuber at this point and everyday I look at my subscriptions to see who posted a video, what new videos I can watch, and look for others to subscribe to. This has become a habit, especially working in an office that has a "slow season" which we find ourselves in currently.

One of those subscriptions is for a channel called SoulPancake. It honestly teeters on the edge of my subscriptions because some stuff I find boring or useless (Sorry!) but this newest upload has me humbled, inspired, and moved.

Please Watch before you continue.

It came out of nowhere, because like I said, SoulPancake is hit or miss with me lately. But this hit home and hit hard. This couple seems so strong and positive that it almost is unbelievable. And that's not on them, but rather on me and my cynicism. Watching the "clip" I felt humbled to have my health and my family and the life that I have right now. I felt inspired to live an even better life and to love myself and then have the capacity to spread that love to others. Then, I felt moved to tears AND action. Tears because...C'mon did you SEE the video?? Who doesn't feel for this guy? But then action because if he can do something to encourage and change the world, we all can! And I love that he didn't say any specific political agenda, religion (even though I read into what he said a bit), or environmental cause. He encourages us simply to

"cultivate a sense of love and community where you live, where you work, and where you play." 

 Sure, he gives us his examples of doing these things (shopping locally, etc.) but he allows us to make this commitment on our own terms and in the ways that work for us and our unique communities. So let's honor him and promise to cultivate love and community wherever life takes us! 

Today, as I write this, I'm having a pretty shitty work day. Excuse my language. But it's true and in order to not spread the anger and bitterness that I really want to scream out at people, I'm going to leave these feelings at work for the evening and instead choose love. I'm going to remember how blessed I am to have a job. I'm going to remember that people like Ryan Wood exist and that makes it worth it to continue. 

This next part is going to make this post SUPER SIZED but I feel it's important to say at this point. Some know of my struggles in my faith and some don't. Some know that I do call myself a Christian but that I've been doubting basically everything I've been taught for the better part of 2 years now. It's been a pretty dark season for me and honestly I don't know when it'll "end" or how it will resolve. 

This video, however, feels so timely and pertinent to me that I cannot help but attribute it to God. I know some here don't share my  faith and I do not mean to impose or offend. But let's be honest, this is my blog and these are the things on my mind. So stay with me! I feel as though God allows us space to explore, question, yell, and doubt Him. Within that space, He sends reminders that He's still there and ready for us to return. I'm not at a point ready to return or fully proclaim restoration and all that jazz...but I am in a place ready to acknowledge these moments when I feel reached out to or reminded. 

Thanks for the reminder Big Guy ;) And thank YOU person who read this WHOLE blog post! Thanks for sticking with me!

Lastly, while his updates aren't frequent lately (as I'm sure you understand why) he does have a blog and he is still writing when he has the energy. I do encourage you to read it to keep up with him and his family. He is a Christian, so his blog is definitely more pointed than the video...but no less inspirational: http://www.grassrootsconspiracy.com/blog/ 

As always, I'd love to hear from you. Comments are always welcomed <3

Brave Enough to Fail

Failure is NEVER an option.

Except when it is.

And let's be honest; sometimes it's the ONLY option. It's part of life and I hate that this is true, but it is. One of life's hardest lessons has been learning that failure is not the worst that can happen. Obviously situations can change and failure might be pretty horrible depending on the circumstances...but I'm not starring in this summer action movie and the world does not depend on my next move being perfectly perfect!

I've devoted a lot of energy and time to being as perfect as possible and it hasn't gotten me very far. Sure I got good grades in high school and working hard in college helped me basically "fall into" graduating with a double major in two subjects I absolutely love. But all of that was done in the safety and comfort of never failing. I'm proud of these accomplishments, but I also regret not doing a lot of other things (Like Spring in New York through NYU or looking for better TV/Film internships, etc.)

The fear of failure has given me some awesome gifts in my life but it's also held me back from truly experiencing life to it's fullest. I'm the type of person who always followed the rules and parents/adults always praised me for it. But I don't have stories to tell of my childhood from when I was grounded or busted. I don't have any experiences of breaking rules or doing something "bad" to share with anyone. I don't have that story about one truly awesome night when I tried to do that one thing, failed miserably and became a better person because of it. I just was. I just am. Continuously. Over and over again.

That's OK for the past me. I don't think I was ready to be risky or put myself out there when I was 13, 16, or even 21 for that matter.

But I am now.

My YouTube channel is something that I love and yet constantly doubt. Each moment I'm recording, I ask myself, "Is this even funny? Or is this pointless?" And I consider giving up. I can't keep up with my original schedule for weekly videos and that feels like failure. I'm tempted to just stop and start again when my life is interesting or when I have a "point" to my videos. BUT NO! I must continue if I want to get better. I also must remember that everyone has a start/beginning and can only get better from there. I won't be able to make hilarious videos like Wheezy Waiter...not yet anyways. I'm not The Vlogbrothers and that's ok because I'm Erika. Specifically, I'm Erika26Blog :)

There is another element in my life that I'm constantly questioning and that's going back to school. I've been studying for the GRE and honestly felt so intimidated and so much self-doubt that I almost gave up. The test cost $175 and what if I fail? Or what if I apply for grad school and don't get in?

Answer: I figure out what to do next. I try again next year? I open up my options to other schools or opportunities? I'd have so many regrets if I don't at least TRY to get in and have the life that (right now) sounds like the best plan for me. Being a flexible professor, possibly a producer, and creator sounds like a bomb resume to me! I'd love to teach classes on media critical studies, then head to set, or development meeting! Maybe I'm naive and maybe this dream isn't possible. But who am I to stop before I even try?

Failure is definitely possible in all of the things I'm attempting this year. But I'm no longer afraid. And I'm not going to stop until I succeed and get everything I ever wanted...or fail and find another way.

Hey you, reading this blog post, Don't Forget To Be Awesome (even if it's an awesome fail). *repeat*

Two Sides

So. I feel kinda weird because there's this YouTube thing I'm doing, but then there is this blog thing I've done for a while now. They feel so different and yet, in my last post, I brought them together.

I don't regret posting the link and I definitely don't regret doing the YouTube channel. However, I can't help but continually ask myself how I am going to blend the two together?

*Pauses to think*

The only (potential) answer I've come up with is NOT to blend them. Sure, I'll post links to videos or mention my blog on my channel once in a while...but these seem like two very different sides of myself and I don't want to confuse the two with each other.

The only other thought I have on the matter is having this be a written response (or lead-in) to the videos I make. Since they are both still me...it seems fair to believe they will "interact" with one another. I might comment further on my videos here instead of make hour long videos of my rambling on. I also think that video is another great outlet to think/process/reflect on life and things happening to me (which was the purpose for this blog initially). So they are definitely related. Cousins perhaps.

Ingrid (my roommate) mentioned this idea she read about that got me thinking A LOT about this issue. This book mentions having different sides within ourselves. There is the creative side and there is also the practical side. Hopefully I'm not misquoting the author (or Ingrid) by saying this. She mentioned that we need to create a space for the creative side to thrive and not let the practical side interfere WHILE we are working with our creative side. It's as though they are two completely separate people. And I have definitely felt the practical me barge into my head space while the creative me was trying to make a video or write a blog. Creative juices become rotting doubt. I second guess myself instead of allowing my idea to flourish and potentially become something great!

So I'm going to try and create a space were the practical me ISN'T ALLOWED TO BE. I'll be sure to keep you updated as I look for where this will actually be :)  I don't think it HAS to be a physical space, although that would be nice.

That's all i got for right now.

See you in either written or video form :)

New Project!

My previous post (linked here) hinted at this new project that I was considering working on this year.

Well (I'm kinda shaking as I write this...) I did it. Actually, I'm doing it. Yep. I'm starting a semi-weekly Vlog on Youtube. The link, you ask? Oh. Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLbAK5yDSS8&feature=plcp

So you may be asking yourself,  "Why Erika?! Why?" and to that I reply WHY NOT?!

I used to think that YouTube was for silly videos, music, and Starkid shows. But I've seen YouTube be so much more than that! There are people doing amazing music covers as well as creating their own music and distributing it to fans, creating original characters and content, or using the YouTube platform to engage and educate viewers.

There is also a negative side to joining YouTube. The haters. And I've thought about them, watched over 1,000 videos of people who also get their hate mail, and seen that with a tough outer shell the haters can just step aside. I'm sure this will be one of the more challenging aspects to this experiment. I'm ready to see how I respond and how I'll move forward/past it. That's honestly what this whole thing is about to some degree. I want to challenge myself to be vulnerable on what can be a very public level. I want to learn more about myself and the world I interact with/live in. I want to experience new things, meet new people, and make my 26th year unlike any other year I've lived before. These are high hopes and even higher expectations. I realize that there's a potential for major letdowns. While I'm not hoping for these things to fail or my heart to be broken, I can't continue to live my life in the "what if" of it all. I've done that before and it's not really working out for me anymore. So I'm trying something new...

With all that being said, Here's my first video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLbAK5yDSS8&feature=plcp

I've made 2 additional videos since and I'm hoping to pick a day of the week to upload a new video. For now I'm thinking Mondays.

And if you're so inclined (AND if you have a YouTube account) you can subscribe to watch the new stuff that comes out! Also...give me ideas for things that you would like me to do, discuss, or what have you.

I'm down for a challenge.

Nerdfighters!

[UPDATED] Hello internets. It's been a while. I've been busy, I'm sure you've been busy....

Moving on.

I've been watching  A LOT of YouTube stuff lately and it's got me thinking. What makes someone popular on YouTube? I recently began watching (from the beginning way back in 2007) a blog by two brothers who started it as an experiment and now it's an entire community/movement! How does that happen?

They are Hank & John Green (known on YouTube as the VlogBrothers).

They began with a simple experiment. No textual communication for an entire year. They could only interact through phone calls, in person (which was rare), or through YouTube videos. They also gave themselves the challenge of posting one video a day (each brother on every other day). Now they have grown into YouTube celebrities with side projects, music companies, and numerous fans which are lovingly called Nerdfighters. Yes...I am indeed a Nerdfighter. Watch the video and let me know if you have any questions :)

What can I say about these two?? Not much unless you watch some of their videos. Admittedly I am only on the 2009 videos (that Nerdfighter one kinda skipped ahead, but I'll let that slide for informational purposes). That means that I have 2 1/2 ish more years of videos before I'm all caught up.  So I haven't seen all their videos, but I'm working on it and with each new video, I find myself more inspired to try something new. I'm working out all the details and logistics, but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I know.

What I do know is that I want this upcoming year to be new, challenging,  and most of all...awesome. The Vlogbrothers have inspired me to do what I can to make it just that.

DFTBA.

GO see this movie!

Hi friends!
I recently saw the movie "People Like Us" and I couldn't tell ENOUGH people to go see this movie. I don't typically suggest for people to see a movie so strongly, but I really enjoyed this one and I'm willing to bet you (well...most of you) will too!

Without giving too much plot away, I loved this movie because it's NOT a love story. Well, it's not a romantic love story. Just as the tagline indicates, it's a story about family. Most of our families are "normal" from what we know about them. We know who loves us, who has let us down, who hurts us, and who we stay away from. Everyone has that uncle that picks on you, that grandpa who gives you money/food, that sister that bothers the hell out of you, or that mom that won't stop telling you to wear lipstick because, "It looks good on you". If you don't have these characters in your family, you have some other versions and we all know it.

But what if there were a part of your family that you had no idea even existed? "People Like Us" looks at the secrets we keep and the lives we change when we discover just how connected we are to one another.

 I loved this movie because it was a beautiful story, mainly focusing on one man's journey towards the family he never knew he had and the family he was always meant to discover. To be honest, I was never a Chris Pine fan. He seemed like your average pretty-actor guy. In his past couple of films, (People Like Us; This Means War) I've seen him have this ability to start and end the film as a changed/developed character! He has this endearing quality about him; I'm really enjoying his journey as an actor and hope he keeps getting better. In People Like Us, his character Sam, starts out this smooth-talking kind of guy, who kinda makes you feel slimy... but ends up a caring man, who finally puts things in proper perspective.


 I also enjoyed Elizabeth Banks' portrayal of a stereotypical female role, single mother w/ a troublesome child, because I could see her humanity underneath the stereotype. She was not a caricature of a woman, but rather a hard working lady doing what she can to provide for her family. Plus she was funny and used her sense of humor/timing to bring light to what could be a depressing situation.   


Character development is my FAVORITE thing about TV & film...seeing a character mature and change throughout the course of the movie/season reminds us that we are in our own story and have the chance to grow/develop/learn from the situations and places we find ourselves! Great movies force us to ask, how will we grow and develop throughout the chapters of our lives? How will we turn a bad/awkward situation into something beautiful? 


Here's the trailer (which is spoiler-heavy) but worth a glance if you need an extra push to seeing this film: 

Life's Classic moments...

When we’re in the moment, do we know that it’s going to be one of the memories that sticks? 

Prompt #14: Take a black and white photo of a “classic moment” in your life. 


This picture was taken when I flew to Chicago for my 25th birthday. I went to the Slamaganza, met some Starkids, and finally got to meet Julia in person (after Skyping for 6 months!). This trip gave me so many wonderful memories that I want to capture as "classic" moments, but the one that sticks is this. After Skyping with Julia, and talking about reaching for dreams and not sitting around waiting for life to happen...I was inspired to fly to Chicago and go on an adventure! I'd never flown alone before, stayed in a stranger city by myself, or planned to meet someone in person for the first time like this before. 


After this experience, I've now also taken trip a trip to New York and plan to again travel on my 26th birthday. I'm even thinking of making it a birthday tradition! All because of this lady, this weekend, and this moment. Classic indeed. 

To my mother

Prompt #13: Write a thank you letter to your Mother, or the most important woman in your life.

I love my mom for a variety of reasons. She’s always been there for me, she loves me, and gives more of herself than pretty much anyone in my entire life. She’s caring and funny, silly and comforting…but the biggest reason that I love my mom is because she has been the only example in my life of purely selfless & unconditional love. I’ve seen her give everything she has for my brother and I on a pretty constant basis. When we were little, it probably went unnoticed because she never made us feel bad for asking things of her. She just made it happen, even if it was physically impossible and then went about her day without condemning or shaming us.

As I continue to grow up and see just how self-sacrificing she is, I’m amazed. In all honesty, I grew up thinking that’s how people treated each other and didn’t think much of it. When the harsh reality that that is not true slapped me in the face, my eyes were opened to see how sacrificial her love was/still is for us.  I know growing up we didn’t have very much money, but what little we had, she would use on our needs and desires and instead of her own. We still have to beg her to use the gifts/money/gift cards we buy her on herself and not on us (it’s OUR gift to YOU mom!).

Also, the most amazing thing about unconditional love is that it cannot be manufactured or falsely created. To me, it’s the most genuine expression of love that exists. Typically, I’ve only heard of this kind of love coming from God. I rarely hear about unconditional love in other relationships because we’re all humans and fail one another constantly. Now, my mom isn’t perfect and there are definitely things that we have done to one another that have caused harm/hurt feelings between us…but she continues to display a real-life human example of unconditional love. No matter how much I hurt her or say something wrong, she loves me. I’ve never ONCE questioned her love for me (in my entire life!). And those who know me, know that I’m constantly questioning how other’s feel about me and doubting that anyone really cares about me. But not her.

I’m so lucky to have YOU as my mom.

Thank you for teaching me how to treat others with respect and dignity, how to love unconditionally, and how to be a strong woman in the face of life’s trials and tribulations. I wouldn’t be half the woman I am without your guidance, patience, and strength.  

I will love you forever and always.

Creative Artwork: Movie Stub

Prompt #11-  Make a creative art piece with a ticket stub based off of how the show made you FEEL.

I've posted about this film before, in this post, but it's one of the first movies that came to mind when I thought about films that moved me emotionally. I've read reviews and not many others enjoyed this film, but it really spoke to me on so many levels. Again, see the post to read more details, but I couldn't think of a better film to use in this creative way. The film broke my heart and left me sobbing once the credits rolled. The love lost, the missed opportunity, and the sadness that couldn't be expressed due to the cultural constraints placed on him made it move me emotionally.

Charlie OUT!

FAIRY DUST

Prompt # 9: And you thought fairies weren’t real __________ (finish the story.)

Life can be dark and lonely. You've believed so many lies about yourself, about your friends, about your life. You believed that no one loved you. You thought that you were invisible to the world around you. You thought no one could love you.  And you thought fairies weren't real until you saw one for yourself. You were caught off guard at first. Told yourself that you must be imagining things, because fairies aren't real. You kept repeating to yourself "You live in reality and fairies don't exist" over and over. Blinking your eyes because you told yourself you were seeing things. But that spark wouldn't go away. In fact, as you continued to look towards the sparkling figure in the distance, the larger it seemed to become. It was as though it was flying slowly towards you. 
Then, suddenly, the spark, the glitter, the fairy...was in the palm of your hand. You were captivated by it. Couldn't take your eyes away from it's beauty. Looking deeper into the light, you see into the soul. You see a longing for justice and kindness. You see compassion and love. You see forgiveness...but you also see wounds. She has some scars that are healing slowly. She has some past hurts that she carries on her heart. You see strength in her wings to continue flying even when the weight of her heavy heart seems to be keeping her down. Power. Wisdom. Love. They are all there, beneath the multiple layers of her dress and woven into the fabric of her soul. 
You look again and details begin to form out of the glittery figure you hold in your hand. You begin see her eyes, her beautiful wings, and her smile. You look closer still, and you see that it's you. 
You are that beautiful fairy, who is seen from miles away. You are captivating and those around you can't help but notice your glow. You are filled with love, beauty, compassion, and a longing for justice. You just needed to open your eyes to see all that is within you. Now that you've seen yourself and the magick & mystery you hold, don't easily let her fly away. Keep her safe and protect her glowing light because that is the source of her strength. She is all you are and together, you can overcome the negative and rough world you both exist in. Together, you can accomplish all things. Oh what a beautiful fairy you are. 

This is a story that came from the prompt listed above. It began as an outward fictional experience in storytelling and eventually it turned into an inward fictional experience.


 I hope that we all can see the light and fairy that is within, no matter what your personal description of your fairy may be. It's there, within you, waiting for you to find it. Today, and everyday after, I pray that I find my fairy and never let her go. 

Charlie Challenge: Magick Room

Charlie Challenge Day 8: Magick Room
[Note: this is yesterday's post...]

I don't have an actual room that I regularly go to physically, but I often visit this room in my mind when I write, when I sing, and when I need a "safe" place to be. My room has hanging lights from the ceiling and around the room, filled with pillows and comfortable places to both sleep/rest and sit up to write/draw.

The BEST thing about my room is the outdoor button. I often find my creativity heightened when I'm outside with the gentle breeze blowing through my hair. So my room also comes with an "Outdoor" button that allows you to bring the lights and pillows but sit below a large tree on the grass. Nothing gets dirty and no bugs are allowed to enter my magick room. There are speakers hidden throughout that connects to all the "users" favorite music. The sounds are arranged like they are at Disneyland, where they blend into the environment and add ambiance to fill the room with life. The air smells fresh and clean and natural. You can feel the sun when it's shining and see the stars when they are their brightest. Welcome to my Magick Room.

Challenge Day 6

Prompt #6- Write a short story about the time you got lost. 


Disneyland 1992. I was 6 years old and my attention was locked on a toy kiosk towards the entrance gates. I remember being so excited to be at Disneyland and ride the rides, see the characters, and have a great day! Thankfully that was the case for majority of the day. 


My family would bring homemade lunches when we went to Disneyland to avoid paying such high costs for meals within the park. They had this picnic area to the side of the park (which I'm sure no longer exists) where we would "exit" the park to eat lunch and then re-enter once we were done. After we had eaten, we were getting ready to head back in, when the kiosk immediately grabbed my attention. As we walked towards the gates, I stopped to look at all the toys that were on display. I totally assumed that my mom was right behind me the whole time. I honestly don't remember how long it had been, but once I lost interest (or realized that I would never own one of those toys) I turned around to find my mom so the fun could continue. But she was no where to be found. I looked around again for my dad or SOME form of a familiar face. Nothing. I immediately panicked and walked around looking for them. 


Thankfully, there weren't THAT far away (around the corner leaning on the wall) so I found them pretty fast. But for a little kid, that felt like too long to be "lost" in such a huge place. 

Charlie Challenge Day 5

My first Charlie fail. Yesterday I had every plan to write this out and then was sick in bed all day. So here's my makeup Charlie prompt. 


Prompt #5: Pen and Paper: Then I felt my cheeks turn rosy pink________ (finish the story.)


My personality is one that avoids embarrassment at all costs. So this prompt is pretty difficult to write. While I haven't had too many dating experiences, I had one that did leave the good kind of blush on my cheeks. I went out on a date expecting for it to be a normal dinner and chatting as it had been the few previous dates that we had gone on. But this wasn't just your average date. While it did consist of chatting and some pretty tasty food, it also included a DTR (Define The Relationship) that I was not expecting. He said things that were very flattering and then asked if we would be officially dating. "Then I felt my cheeks turn rosy pink and I said that I would love to". 


Ultimately, it didn't work out and we are no longer dating. But I'll never forget that conversation and the rosy feeling it left upon my cheeks. 

Charlie Challenge Days 3 & 4

Whew, this is going to be a long (but AWESOME) month of challenges. Already Charlie is pushing me out of my comfort zone! The 4th challenge is:
 Sing along to your favorite song on YouTube. Bonus: Learn how to play AND sing it.  

Well, no bonus for this challenge BUT I did get some courage and decided, "Just go for it!" and recorded myself singing. The camera shakes because my hands couldn't NOT shake. Let's just get to the video, shall we?

This was a challenge for me personally because, while I've always loved singing, I've never really had the courage to share it with anyone. I'm just now learning the proper technique in my singing lessons and gaining more confidence as the journey continues. So, thank you Charlie! For helping me overcome my vocal insecurities!

ALSO! I didn't post this picture yesterday on this blog, but the challenge was:
Recreate a scene from a fairy tale, using any materials you can find. Take a photo and share below . 


So here is my "fairytale" recreation:

Can't wait for what tomorrow will bring!

I had the pleasure of going to Gotye's April 19th show at the Nokia Theater. If the name doesn't sound familiar, I'm sure you've heard his mega-hit "Somebody That I Used To Know". It's been covered by nearly every other artist, including the cast of glee (of which you all know how much I love!).

Anyways, I can't fully remember what pushed me towards listening to his full record on Spotify but I'm so grateful for whatever it was. I remember enjoying the music at work and having it be great background music to work to throughout the day. Then, I found this performance/article from NPR and I was sold: http://www.kcrw.com/media-player/mediaPlayer2.html?type=video&id=mb111115gotye

Now, it's time for the gushing. Here's why I love Gotye as a musician and artist; He's so different than most of the acts you'll see at the top of the charts now- a-days. I've watched some performances on YouTube and I've noticed he isn't really a "performer" but he's a complete musician and fully engages himself in his music at each concert. You can tell that he's comfortable playing his music and physically moves his body just as the fans in the audience are to his beats. There's something to be said for a musician who loves the work he has created and shows that night after night on stage.

He's a bit awkward when talking to the audience, but not lacking confidence. I could tell he just would prefer to play music than tell stories. And I kinda like that. Here are some YoutTube videos I took of that night:

Heart's a Mess (my favorite!) 

In Your Light

Lastly, the lyrics to "In Your Light" constantly point me to my faith. I have NO idea what his faith background is or if he even has one, but God uses this song to remind me of the truth of His love and power in my life. "In Your light, all of this is clear. If only I could always be just as I am right here". 




Peace & Love

Shifting Perspective: Charlie Challenge Day 2

Above & Below

You, Me & Charlie Challenge Day 2: 

Working 37 hours a week at this desk can make the "view" all too familiar. For today's challenge, I wanted to see if I could view my boring desk from a new perspective. I tried MANY different angles of the computer screen and even from another desk! But this seemed to be the best way to shift perspective. I never sit above my desk nor below it. Fresh perspectives allow us to see our world differently and approach life with a deeper appreciation of the varieties/differences that flavor our days. 

30 Day Charlie Challenge!

You, Me, & Charlie. I've written a bit about them before on here, but get ready for a whole new month of posting! They have created a 30-Day Challenge to push creativity and challenge ourselves to explore new ways of thinking, producing, creating, making, living. And I'm totally on board. 


Prompt #1- Write your personal manifesto. This could be an essay, a sentence, a word… the beginning of your novel. Get creative. What are you about?
I'm the type of person who is always thinking about the people around me, in my life, that I care about...almost more than myself. I believe that God created each and every human being and that His immense love is so overwhelming that our brains cannot begin to comprehend what that means for our lives. I believe that we should be kind to one another and compassionate towards those who are "different" or "other". I believe in music. I believe that an open ear can heal most wounds. Trustworthiness is essential. Money should NEVER be a goal to attain. Suffering is almost as important as joy; how can you know one without the other? Pursue justice in all ways possible. Getting married shouldn't be the goal/fix-all for your problems. Single people MATTER. And lastly (stolen from one Mr. Criss) Be good to one another, because nobody likes an asshole. 


Looking forward to tomorrow's challenge! 

Why I love Twitter (no..really.)

My beginning with twitter is a sad start to what now has become something so much more! I had heard of twitter but had no interest in being a part of something that seemed so utterly pointless. Then my friend Lisa was rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night in March 2010 and suddenly twitter had a meaningful purpose in my life. It was used to give real-time updates about her progress and health. Eventually those updates slowed and I almost quit my twitter account because its purpose was fading. But for some odd reason, I kept it and began looking at who else was using this weird Facebook status update-esque online tool.

I honestly can't remember what I did on twitter before I started following certain people. I think to myself, what the hell did I spend my time doing on twitter? I honestly don't think I spent more than a couple of seconds on it before closing the tab on my browser. But there were people who were interesting or who provided a reason to keep my account active. Those people are @Switchfoot , @msleamichele, and of course @DarrenCriss. Each of these have brought other fans, celebrities, and groups of people into my life that have helped to shape me and help my introverted, loner self into a more social person (internet social anyways).

[Side Note:] I understand this is a silly post. I realize there are things outside of twitter and the internet in my life..oh trust me, I know that all too well. This is just to explain my love of twitter and the positive thing it can be if used wisely. 

As many of you know, my job has it's "slow" times throughout the day. Twitter has been a form of mainly entertainment during those times. Celebrities post funny pictures or links to videos they like (or just want to share with people). It's interesting. Twitter has become not only a way to connect with (and stay updated about) a celebrity but also a way to connect to other fans of said celebrity, movement, band, movie, whatever. If someone I follow posts a link about a band they like, I'm MUCH more inclined to listen and see if I like them as well. I can't even tell you how many bands/people I've come to love because of who I follow on twitter!

The biggest "accomplishment" I've done through twitter is meeting up with people while I was in NYC. I still can't really get over the fact that I have people in my life who I met on twitter and we legitimately talk and connect. I'm going to Disneyland with a couple of girls I met on twitter in a couple weeks AND touring the Paramount Lot (where Glee films)! Some of the BEST times in New York were spent in a pizzeria talking with two friends I was finally meeting in person after talking online for months. Maybe to some I sound insane because I'm meeting up with people I met online. Maybe to others I sound completely dorky because...well...I'm meeting up with people I met online and completely gushing about an online social media tool. But I can't help it. I get SO excited thinking about how awesome it is that a silly thing like twitter can connect people, create friendships, start movements, and bring people together.

This post would be epically long if I listed all the new connections, destinations, and adventures twitter has given me. So I will just say that twitter has given me new friends and a new way of approaching the world around me. Here are just some pictures to help illustrate.

I first met Dan & Kath at a Paley Center event for the show "Pushing Daisies" and we've been online friends ever since! I even got to meet up with them in New York (we were ALL there to see Darren!).

Kath & Dan 2007

Dan & Kath 2011

Without Twitter, I would have NEVER met Juls, my friend and peer mentor that I now meet with every couple of weeks to talk about God, entertainment, purpose, and life goals we both have. This is also why I spent my 25th birthday in Chicago (meeting her in person)!

I follow a cool lady on Twitter (@MiaVonGlitz) and she connected me with Morgan Karr (@MorganKarr) through some mutual twitter followers and I got the chance to see him perform his music live and chat with him after his show! Such a great musician from NY and I'm glad to have his stuff on my iPhone now :)

These are just a few examples of the exciting things meeting and connecting with Twitter has brought me. I don't know exactly why, but I felt like gushing about it today.



May you also find that thing(s) in your life that connect you with others and the greater world around you.

When Inspiration Strikes.

I recently  read THIS post from a really cool new site from Dianna Agron (Quinn, from Glee) called "You, Me, & Charlie". I really enjoyed the questions she asked and wanted to use some creative juices this morning :)

YM&C: What day is it?
Friday 2/17 around 11:20am.


YM&C: Where are you responding to this email?
Honestly, I'm sitting at my desk at work. It's a slow work day...


YM&C: If you could go somewhere, right now, for 24 hours, where would it be?
New York. Easy. I'm pretty sure my answer will always be NYC until I live there and I'll have to pick another place. 


YM&C: What makes you the happiest?
Laughing and singing are my favorite things to do in the world. They both make me feel things nothing else does. 


YM&C: What makes you feel inspired?
Seeing people overcome obstacles in life and leaving with a positive outlook. To see someone who could have just "given up" choose to fight, push through, and overcome against all odds...gives me chills every time. THAT's what I want in life. I want to overcome my own struggles and come out stronger for it. 


YM&C: What’s your favorite song to sing?
"On My Own" from Les Miserables. I'm hoping to work on this song with my singing coach soon. Here's a video of what I want to sound like. (I really admire Lea Michele and want to model my voice after hers.) 

YM&C: What’s your power anthem?
Right now it's "We Are Young" by fun. I love the concept of being young and capable to accomplish anything! 




YM&C: What is one thing that you think people don’t expect from you?
I really love cuss words. The F-word makes me laugh more than anything. haha! That's embarrassing. 


YM&C: What would you say to your younger self?
Don't let anyone make you feel invisible. You are seen and you are worth the attention of your family and friends. Also, don't give up on things. It may be hard but push through. Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is how often I've quit or given up on something because it was a challenge. I've always wanted everything to be easy, but when it wasn't, I thought that meant I wasn't meant to do it. Don't do that! You can do it if you work hard enough and believe in yourself. I might sound like a broken record, but it's definitely the most important lesson I wish I knew when I was little. 


YM&C: A picture and a thought?

This is the sneaky picture I took of the Broadway stage for "How to Succeed in Business without Really Trying". It means so much more than just a great memory or a great musical. It represents an accomplishment  in my personal life of being more adventurous and going after the things I want. And God doesn't just give us those things but instead goes above and BEYOND by providing so much financial assistance to allow my family to actually afford the trip. God showed His love for me through my entire NYC trip. This picture reminds me: 
1) Dreams can come true
2) They won't always look how you thought your dreams would.
3) They will be better than you imagined
4) Life is good when you take chances and trust God.
5) Lastly, Darren will always be my favorite performer (yep, I said it). haha. 




Thanks for letting me pretend I was being interviewed for something :)