Nerdfighters!

[UPDATED] Hello internets. It's been a while. I've been busy, I'm sure you've been busy....

Moving on.

I've been watching  A LOT of YouTube stuff lately and it's got me thinking. What makes someone popular on YouTube? I recently began watching (from the beginning way back in 2007) a blog by two brothers who started it as an experiment and now it's an entire community/movement! How does that happen?

They are Hank & John Green (known on YouTube as the VlogBrothers).

They began with a simple experiment. No textual communication for an entire year. They could only interact through phone calls, in person (which was rare), or through YouTube videos. They also gave themselves the challenge of posting one video a day (each brother on every other day). Now they have grown into YouTube celebrities with side projects, music companies, and numerous fans which are lovingly called Nerdfighters. Yes...I am indeed a Nerdfighter. Watch the video and let me know if you have any questions :)

What can I say about these two?? Not much unless you watch some of their videos. Admittedly I am only on the 2009 videos (that Nerdfighter one kinda skipped ahead, but I'll let that slide for informational purposes). That means that I have 2 1/2 ish more years of videos before I'm all caught up.  So I haven't seen all their videos, but I'm working on it and with each new video, I find myself more inspired to try something new. I'm working out all the details and logistics, but I'll be sure to let you know as soon as I know.

What I do know is that I want this upcoming year to be new, challenging,  and most of all...awesome. The Vlogbrothers have inspired me to do what I can to make it just that.

DFTBA.

Gobble Gobble

I rarely write out the things that I am thankful for because it always felt super cheesy and contrived. This year, however, feels like an extraordinary year in the scheme of the 25 I've had so far. So, with all that said, here is my list of things that I'm thankful for:

• The Gift of Music: This year, I've re-discovered my love of all things musical.
• First was my love for Glee (rejuvenated love that is). It's a weird love affair because I know in my TV-writer heart that it's poorly written and inconsistent. But I can't help but love the musical numbers, love certain characters (Klaine), and enjoy the occasional good storyline. 
• Then came my love for Starkid and their first big musical "A Very Potter Musical". Stemmed from Darren being on Glee, I found myself inspired to check out his earlier work. Best decision I've made this past year. This has been the gateway to so many good things in my life, and for that I'm so thankful to them. 
• I began taking voice lessons! Second best decision I've made this year. Each session is challenging and life-giving in equal measure. This is the most active and creative way I see God working in my life. And it's all through my singing. I love it. 

• The Gift of Freedom: This is something that has been evolving since my years in college, but this year in particular has been a huge year of breaking chains that have held me down and releasing things to God.
•  I am actively working to restore and repair my relationship with God. Each breakthrough brings freedom to our relationship and freedom in my heart to accept His love more and more.
• I have also experienced freedom to express myself to God honestly. I have some deep hurts and disappointments with God, and I feel free now to express and release those to Him and trust they will be redeemed and restored. 
• I have gained freedom to be myself and freedom to accept who I am, both physically and emotionally. I haven't always liked who I was or how I looked, but God is freeing my sight to see what He sees in me. Definitely a work in progress, but I'm so thankful for what glimpses He's given me so far...

• The Gift of Friendship: This year has been a roller coaster of community and friendship for me. There were definitely dark times when I doubted each of my friendships and community. I doubted that I could be loved by any of them and felt like starting over. But God is good to me and brought people (some I'd known and some I didn't until recently) to remind me that friendship is worth fighting for and I am capable of being loved by my friends. I knew friendship was important, but this year has reminded me just how much friends bring to my life. I'm so thankful you've all stuck around for me, even when I wasn't the best friend back to you. 
• God has also given me a great community of people who want to be better and want to support one another. I love my corner community for what we are trying to be. We aren't perfect, but we are trying to be better together :) So grateful! 

• The Gift of Love: I haven't always felt like love was part of my life, mainly because I narrowly thought "love" looked a certain way. But this year, I've been better able to recognize when I'm loved and that has given me the ability to love others better so they feel that love in return. 
• I have always had a great family who loves and supports me. I seriously don't know where I would be without them. I love you. 
• This might be mushy, but I'm just thankful that God gave us the ability to love each other. It amazes me when I see an act of love shared between people. I'm so thankful.   

I hope that we are able to see what gifts we have been given and appreciate how much we are loved and seen by God. We have so much to be thankful for, if only we would take the time to reflect on the blessings we have been given. 

Happy Thanksgiving <3

It's been an odd mixture of light and dark in my life for the past few months. I haven't written because I don't really know where to begin or how to even end. I literally have 4-5 drafts written for the different things that I've wanted to share, but haven't felt like they were really complete thoughts...so drafts they will remain for now.

I've been thinking a lot about myself lately. Not always in the selfish way but not always in the unselfish way either. Here is a brief recap/highlights of my life over the course of the past few months (roughly chronological):

• I had pretty much mentally decided to no longer attend my current church
• I went on a month-long church rotation to find a different church
• I met great people and saw amazing churches in the greater LA area that got me excited about my future and where God may have me go
• I decided to take voice lessons regularly
• I joined an acting class in Westwood on Sunday mornings (for a month)
• I decided that I needed to at least "try" new things and see if I discover talents I never knew I had
• I ended my church rotation 
• Caused by a stern yet gentle correction from my pastor about my expectations and poor communication; basically I didn't give people a chance
• Through this conversation, many deep rooted sins were discovered
• Basically, I'm an onion. A fearful, layered onion. (More in my next post about this)
• I've been trying to allow me to just be me and it's been wonderful/difficult.
• I've believed so many lies about myself that it's hard to distinguish truth and lies in my own head. 
• I've been able to see how I interact with Jesus and the true nature of our relationship, which isn't perfect.  
• I'm discovering that I like who I am, and I don't need to be ashamed of who I am or things I like
• I've started reading Harry Potter (much to the distress of my mom)
• I'm on the 4th book, hoping to be done by July for the last film! 
• I'm going to try to do more things in front of a camera, so be on the lookout for that! (scary but good!)
• Ultimately, I'm going to stay with Redeemer and allow Jesus to heal some of the major brokenness within my soul through the people and relationships He has given me, even when I don't think there are any relationships...He is showing me that isn't true. 

And now, looking toward this new path God seems to be laying before me, I see many more new adventures as well as more development of my character and identity in Jesus. Oh, and I plan to write a song at some point. I've never done that and it seems like the perfect outlet for some self-expression. If it gets recorded, I'll for sure post it for y'all. 

God is doing something big and I look forward to seeing what fruit comes out of this phase of my life. 

Peace and Blessings.