Summer of '98

Today is a strange day. This post is going to be a strange post. But let's go with it...

When I was 12 years old I met the love(s) of my life.
From the moment our eyes met, we knew nothing could keep us apart.
I saved every picture, planned out dates according to their schedule, and I fully supported each of their new endeavors. 

Yes, I am talking about Nsync. My family can attest to my devotion to anything (and everything) that they did. And now with the uproar over the rumored "reunion" at the VMAs (crossing fingers SOMETHING happens on Sunday!) I can't help but look back and remember just what this boy band meant to me back then and what it means now.

Back in the summer of 1998 my family was struggling with the diagnosis my grandma had been given. After being sick for a long time, they finally knew it was cancer. I was 12 years old and going back and forth between my mom's place, dad's place, and grandma's house so that my mom could care for grandma. In the midst of the sadness and chaos, I happen to be watching Disney Channel and saw a concert special promo featuring a group I had never heard. Little did I know that the Nsync Disney concert would not only be the spark of my Nsync obsession, but also the thread that tied my entire summer together.

I can't remember the first time I saw this concert. But I can say that I must have watched it (either on TV or from my recorded tape) at least 100 times (no joke) throughout that summer. It was that time in life when boys became...... BOYS. So having 5 guys dance around and make you fall in love with them was welcomed. Even my grandma would comment on how much we watched it! I got my brother to watch, my cousins, aunts and uncles; everyone watched! Mind you there was only one TV in the house at the time, but that's besides the point! Looking back now, I can see why everyone allowed me to watch these boys dance around...they all knew. You see, being 12 years old, I couldn't really handle the reality of death. So this concert became my safe place. These 5 boys became my escape. 

That summer most days were spent with family; sitting around enjoying one another, watching TV, and caring for one another along with enjoying what moments we had with grandma. It was the most bittersweet summer of my entire life. I had all this family around me and yet it was all to mourn the nearing loss of someone so close to my heart. It was the first death that I can remember really being touched by. She was my caretaker for so many years and we spent MANY weekends with her prior to all of this happening. She was the best grandma I could have asked for. 

The summer of 1998 was a turning point in my life and I'll be forever changed by the experiences I shared, bonds that were made, and memories I'll keep forever. You may think it silly, but Nsync brought me closer to my family that summer and are forever linked to everything that happened. They got me through my grandma's death and continue to make me smile when I look back at old pictures or watch concert footage. One of my cousins (who was also obsessed and would watch the concert right by my side) would always say that Nsync came on the radio during moments we were crying because they knew. I know that's crazy now, but 12 year old me believed it to be true. I smile thinking about how real that was for me and how innocent a thought it was to get me through my sadness. 

Regardless of whether the reunion happens or not, having them back in pop culture discussions this week has meant the world to me. You see today, August 22nd, is the day my grandma passed away that summer. So having them back in my life for this brief moment as we reflect on her life and today's anniversary of her death has brought it all full circle. Once again they are there to comfort me and bring a smile to my face as tears fall from my eyes. 

They'll never read this, but I can't help but say thanks to them for what role they've played. These guys brought me into adolescence and made me happy. They distracted me from the ugliness life can throw at you and replaced it with catchy songs and teenage dreams. They entertained me back then and continue to do so today. Thanks guys. 

Grandma Nora, I miss you so much. 15 years has passed so quickly. I hope I've become the woman you wanted me to be. I can't wait until I can see you again.  

Grandma (holding baby brother), Mom, and myself (looking away).

Leaving LA: Its Really Happening

I want to start off by saying that I'm not in love with LA. In all honesty, I don't like LA at all.

With that said, I feel sad as I think about moving away from the place I've called home for the past 5 years. I can't help but look back at all the things I've experienced and learned here. These are just some memories that have a story behind them, but I will list the headlines of my time in LA below:

• Moved here for an internship for urban ministry, not knowing WHAT to expect. 
• Had my faith shaken by life and some pretty messed up experiences. 
• Had my iPhone stolen; just to be brought back to me by a good samaritan who saw it happen. 
• Discovered some new-obsessions...YouTube, Darren, etc. 
• Lived in 3 different houses in the course of 5 years. 
• Made new friends using twitter (of all things)
• Stopped going to church  
• Struggled to figure out what I believed in again.
• Took singing lessons and loved every minute of it. 
• Developed a voice that I never knew I had. 
• Continued to grow in my passion for LGBT rights and issues. 
• Worked at L.A. Live at the movie theater as a second job and met some pretty amazing/hilarious people! 

Things I learned here: 

• USC (and the South LA area it's located in) isn't as scary as everyone tells you it is. 
• How to survive without heat or A/C in houses without insulation (which is basically like camping inside your home.)
• Small concerts are WAY better than the huge mega-star concerts. 
• Having a driveway is like owning a treasured jewel, it's so rare and it's a parking space saved just for you! 
• Parking tickets are annoying but definitely part of the LA experience. 

It's been a rollercoaster 5 years but I'm glad I can say that I've lived in LA and I've gained these experiences that I might never had if I stayed in the suburbs. 

BUT! With all that said, I did pack up my life and move back to Fullerton. For various reasons and circumstances, I'm back in the suburbs and I have mixed feelings. It's been a transition week of taking a train into work, driving to the train station, and acclimating to the quiet that is my new home. There's A/C, cable TV, and my own space to retreat to each night. Overall, I'm happy and excited for what's to come from my time here and see where I live after this! 

Thanks to everyone who reads these and has supported me! 

Also, my last post was my 100th post! WOW.  I can't believe it!