Sing it Out

For the past 6 months, I've been taking singing lessons 2x a month...and I'm in love. I can't imagine not having these lessons to help me grow and be a better singer. The wildest part is that most people have no idea how much I love to sing. I've spent a good majority of my life thinking very little of myself, especially my talents and passions. When I would get excited about a performance or time to shine, it would quickly fade to a thought that goes something like, "Well...I'm not good enough so maybe I shouldn't do it". Cut to me sitting around and watching others do what I longed to do and getting the parts I wanted. I see a lot of performers talk about being told "No" and "You're not good enough" when they were auditioning and my first thought is how little I relate to that feeling. I was so afraid and not confident in myself that I never let anyone say that to me because I rarely (if ever) sang for anyone. In turn, I never auditioned or tried anything. I kept my singing, performing, dancing self in my room where she was safe from any judgement (or audience).

When I finally decided to pursue singing lessons, it was an outlet for me to sing and really learn the technique. Now it's become a way of growing both vocally and spiritually. Who knew I'd find Jesus through my voice? Let me explain.  My instructor is constantly telling me to let go of the control and simply sing. Sounds easier than it actually is because in order to do that, you have to trust that you have the right pitch and enough breath beneath you to support your sound. I rarely have that trust and the sound comes out somewhat strained because I'm trying to control it with my throat (wrong). What do I struggle with in my relationship with God? Control and lack of trust. Hmm, I see what you're doing there God.

I can't really express how much life my singing lessons have brought me. They give me an outlet for expression and release of the things I keep bottled inside most of the time. I experience the world through emotions mainly, and singing is a way of expressing emotions that is so different from written or spoken word. Kristin Chenoweth (Wicked, Glee guest star) once said, "We sing when we can no longer speak" and I find that to be 100% true in my life. Singing is an emotional and physical expression of things we cannot otherwise say. But it has also become a way for me to interact with God. He uses my lessons to teach me things about myself and remind me that I can trust in Him and the "song" will play out as it should.

While nothing concrete is in the works, I'm am going to be singing more (and more in front of people!) so I ask for your prayers and support through the ups and downs that will bring :) I'm looking forward to walking this path of singing and learning for the rest of my life. Whether it's a career or a life-long outlet, I know I'll sing as long as I'm able.

Today I thank God for the gift of music. What are you thankful for today? Where are the places that you're discovering God and you weren't expecting to see Him there?

Editing is hard

I've been trying to edit and complete the video for Chicago but it's taking FOREVER! Reasons being:

1.) I'm easily distracted
2.) I'm fasting for using electronics past 10pm and that significantly lowers the time I have to edit on weekdays
3.) I'm finding new things I can do with the iMovie program each day (which means I learn something new and then basically re-edit what I thought I had completed).

All this to say, I'm really excited about how it's turning out and I'll be sure to let you know once it's done. I'd say maybe 2-3 more weeks.