Being: Erika

It's been an odd mixture of light and dark in my life for the past few months. I haven't written because I don't really know where to begin or how to even end. I literally have 4-5 drafts written for the different things that I've wanted to share, but haven't felt like they were really complete thoughts...so drafts they will remain for now.

I've been thinking a lot about myself lately. Not always in the selfish way but not always in the unselfish way either. Here is a brief recap/highlights of my life over the course of the past few months (roughly chronological):

• I had pretty much mentally decided to no longer attend my current church
• I went on a month-long church rotation to find a different church
• I met great people and saw amazing churches in the greater LA area that got me excited about my future and where God may have me go
• I decided to take voice lessons regularly
• I joined an acting class in Westwood on Sunday mornings (for a month)
• I decided that I needed to at least "try" new things and see if I discover talents I never knew I had
• I ended my church rotation 
• Caused by a stern yet gentle correction from my pastor about my expectations and poor communication; basically I didn't give people a chance
• Through this conversation, many deep rooted sins were discovered
• Basically, I'm an onion. A fearful, layered onion. (More in my next post about this)
• I've been trying to allow me to just be me and it's been wonderful/difficult.
• I've believed so many lies about myself that it's hard to distinguish truth and lies in my own head. 
• I've been able to see how I interact with Jesus and the true nature of our relationship, which isn't perfect.  
• I'm discovering that I like who I am, and I don't need to be ashamed of who I am or things I like
• I've started reading Harry Potter (much to the distress of my mom)
• I'm on the 4th book, hoping to be done by July for the last film! 
• I'm going to try to do more things in front of a camera, so be on the lookout for that! (scary but good!)
• Ultimately, I'm going to stay with Redeemer and allow Jesus to heal some of the major brokenness within my soul through the people and relationships He has given me, even when I don't think there are any relationships...He is showing me that isn't true. 

And now, looking toward this new path God seems to be laying before me, I see many more new adventures as well as more development of my character and identity in Jesus. Oh, and I plan to write a song at some point. I've never done that and it seems like the perfect outlet for some self-expression. If it gets recorded, I'll for sure post it for y'all. 

God is doing something big and I look forward to seeing what fruit comes out of this phase of my life. 

Peace and Blessings.