Sunrise, Sunset

Can YOU see it? 

Last week, I had the unique opportunity to stay with my mom at her house because her house mates were on vacation in Hawaii, giving us the house for ourselves! I had a pretty rough weekend leading up to this week, so I grabbed at the chance immediately. Time away from LA without having to take vacation days? I'm there! Plus, spoiler alert: I'll be moving somewhere else in August and I kinda need to figure out where exactly that will be. Could be LA, could be anywhere commutable (that's a word?) to work.

 So! In addition to having some time away from my current housing situation...I figured I would also use this time to experiment with commuting to LA from Ventura County. I know...lofty goals! This is one of my options for moving if I can't find a place in the LA area. While I do love my hometown, it's not high on my priority list of options mainly because of the distance to work and the headache of coming to LA for any shows that I might see. I'm so spoiled now living in LA and having most venues less than 10 miles from my house. So there's that...

But now I'm getting ahead of myself. This isn't happening until the summer, so let's table that thought for now. What I want to share with you is the beauty I experienced on my drive. Going into the week, I was very anxious about getting to and from work. I thought the train was going to be the best option, but ended up having to drive in on Monday for my singing lesson. I was so nervous about sitting in my car for 2 hours and being so pent up with road rage that my work day would push me over the edge. BUT! Instead I was given this view the first 20 minutes of my drive:

Who knew the world could BE so beautiful at 6:20am?

My work day was fine, but I found myself feeling those anxious feelings again leading into driving home. Being stuck in that 2 hour traffic and getting home with a raging headache. BUT! I got this instead:

 WHAT?! Another fantastic show to entertain my eyes along with several brake lights ahead of me. I couldn't even complain about the low speeds with this surrounding me.

I couldn't help but take pause, and really think about the gifts these sunrises and sunsets were to me. God sure knew I would need a beautiful painting to illustrate the backdrop for this little experiment. It was gorgeous and much appreciated. I can't believe I've been missing this each morning! What other hidden gems am I missing?

Who knows where I'll find myself come August. But after last week, I know there's undiscovered beauty out there just waiting for me to take a different route to find or wake up that much earlier to see. Each new day is a new chance for life to happen.

I'm excited.

My last morning, I had some extra time waiting for the train, so I played with my phone and took these. They are kinda my favorites. Until next time!

Humbled. Inspired. Moved.

I'm a frequent YouTuber at this point and everyday I look at my subscriptions to see who posted a video, what new videos I can watch, and look for others to subscribe to. This has become a habit, especially working in an office that has a "slow season" which we find ourselves in currently.

One of those subscriptions is for a channel called SoulPancake. It honestly teeters on the edge of my subscriptions because some stuff I find boring or useless (Sorry!) but this newest upload has me humbled, inspired, and moved.

Please Watch before you continue.

It came out of nowhere, because like I said, SoulPancake is hit or miss with me lately. But this hit home and hit hard. This couple seems so strong and positive that it almost is unbelievable. And that's not on them, but rather on me and my cynicism. Watching the "clip" I felt humbled to have my health and my family and the life that I have right now. I felt inspired to live an even better life and to love myself and then have the capacity to spread that love to others. Then, I felt moved to tears AND action. Tears because...C'mon did you SEE the video?? Who doesn't feel for this guy? But then action because if he can do something to encourage and change the world, we all can! And I love that he didn't say any specific political agenda, religion (even though I read into what he said a bit), or environmental cause. He encourages us simply to

"cultivate a sense of love and community where you live, where you work, and where you play." 

 Sure, he gives us his examples of doing these things (shopping locally, etc.) but he allows us to make this commitment on our own terms and in the ways that work for us and our unique communities. So let's honor him and promise to cultivate love and community wherever life takes us! 

Today, as I write this, I'm having a pretty shitty work day. Excuse my language. But it's true and in order to not spread the anger and bitterness that I really want to scream out at people, I'm going to leave these feelings at work for the evening and instead choose love. I'm going to remember how blessed I am to have a job. I'm going to remember that people like Ryan Wood exist and that makes it worth it to continue. 

This next part is going to make this post SUPER SIZED but I feel it's important to say at this point. Some know of my struggles in my faith and some don't. Some know that I do call myself a Christian but that I've been doubting basically everything I've been taught for the better part of 2 years now. It's been a pretty dark season for me and honestly I don't know when it'll "end" or how it will resolve. 

This video, however, feels so timely and pertinent to me that I cannot help but attribute it to God. I know some here don't share my  faith and I do not mean to impose or offend. But let's be honest, this is my blog and these are the things on my mind. So stay with me! I feel as though God allows us space to explore, question, yell, and doubt Him. Within that space, He sends reminders that He's still there and ready for us to return. I'm not at a point ready to return or fully proclaim restoration and all that jazz...but I am in a place ready to acknowledge these moments when I feel reached out to or reminded. 

Thanks for the reminder Big Guy ;) And thank YOU person who read this WHOLE blog post! Thanks for sticking with me!

Lastly, while his updates aren't frequent lately (as I'm sure you understand why) he does have a blog and he is still writing when he has the energy. I do encourage you to read it to keep up with him and his family. He is a Christian, so his blog is definitely more pointed than the video...but no less inspirational: http://www.grassrootsconspiracy.com/blog/ 

As always, I'd love to hear from you. Comments are always welcomed <3