Feeling violated by a doctor is never good.
I recently visited my doctor for a yearly checkup to make sure everything is in the right place and working as it should, you know being an adult and all. My normal doctor was out on maternity leave so I settled for another doctor because I didn't want to put this off any longer. There are a few issues that I've needed to have addressed by a doctor so I went ahead and made the appointment.
The day of the appointment came and I was feeling pretty good and excited to see what the doctor would have to say.
I walked in and agreed to a few procedures that I had been avoiding, and walked into the exam room. The nurse told me the doctor would be in soon...she said that he would be right in. HE. I specifically asked for a female doctor. I turned towards her as she was about to walk out and stopped her by asking, "Wait...it's a guy?" YES. This was the beginning of the quick downward fall of this horrible doctors visit.
After several extremely anxious minutes, he walked in and greeted me semi-coldly, as I sat in my gown completely vulnerable. He was pleasant enough, but he moved very quickly to rush me through the procedures and not listening to what I had to say about a single thing. While this upsets me now, at the time, I felt powerless and simply allowed it to happen. The exam was uncomfortable and awkward enough and I basically went inside myself to hide. I didn't have any thoughts or words come to mind that I could say to him about how horrible he was treating me. He was doing something very personal and yet he gave me no warning and insisted on talking about the weight loss options Kaiser offers compared to surgery as he is completing the exam. No. Don't do this. I'm fine with being touched because you are a doctor and there is a nurse in the room to oversee what you are doing. But I would appreciate you telling me what the hell you are doing instead of discussing the weight loss shakes or classes as you touch my chest and other areas.
I did tear up after it was over and he asked if I was alright. I told him I was embarrassed (which I regret saying) and he casually said what I never want to hear a doctor say to any patient ever again: "It's okay. I'm a doctor". This in NO WAY makes it alright for you to treat a patient so robotically and emotionless. Don't get me wrong, I've seen enough Grey's Anatomy episodes to know that doctors do need to guard their own hearts against all of the ugliness in their job (illness, death, etc.) but this was an exam that needed some sympathy and less mechanics.
I'm much better now than I was as I walked out of the exam room. I felt the need to share this completely personal post to anyone reading my blog because I want you to know what I didn't at the time. Stand up for yourself. Speak up and request what you are going to need in order to be comfortable and feel okay about the situation. What that doctor did wasn't professional and he made me feel violated. Don't let this happen to you. My mom gave me some advice that I'm going to offer you now: If you aren't comfortable... tell someone and change it. Make a different appointment, request a new doctor, speak up!
Our words have value and we are worth the extra time/staff that it takes to give us a proper visit with our health care providers.
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