Commitment

"You are just afraid of commitment" 

A friend of mine said this to me back when we were in college and it was bizarre to hear those words said about me to my face. I never considered myself a person who feared commitment, but ever since she called that out in me, I have been able to see it more and more. I could never commit to just one favorite actor, one favorite food, not even one favorite type of music. (Hint: I basically have no favorites because everything is my favorite, except Jensen Ackles..he's FOR SURE my favorite.) I still struggle with this to this day! As I've written in past posts, I've had a lot of options laid before me in terms of what my next steps might be and I find myself stuck. I'm unable to commit to one option for fear that one of the others would be the better choice. There is always that lingering question of, "What if..." that ties me down.

I'm not sure how much this plays into my fear of commitment, but I also find that my interests vary and that I have waves of high interest and low interest within each aspect of my life. Some months I love YouTube and I watch all my subscriptions each week...and some months I couldn't be bothered to even login and see what videos are being made. This is true also when I think about my job (love it...and also kinda hate it), my education goals, dating...you get the picture.

Even this quote scares the crap out of me. 

However, I've decided that it's high time for me to actually choose one thing and stick with  it regardless of the outcome. And I choose YOU blog readers! I'm committing myself to writing more often and consistently on this blog and see where this road takes me. Could I focus on other projects/desires? Yes...but I have always loved writing on this blog and writing in general so it makes the most sense to continue doing what I love.

In all honesty, even as I type this sentence my brain is saying, "What about YouTube? Or what about going back to school?! What about _____" but I'm just going to place those on another shelf for another time. If something changes, I'll pursue whatever comes up.

What I ask of you is accountability. Keep me in line if you haven't heard from me! Remind me of my commitment when I whine about not knowing what to do with my time/life. I want this to be as communal as a blog can be! Join me on this journey :)

Here's to commitment!