Glee: The End

It's been an interesting experience being a fan of glee since the very beginning. I rarely can say I've been a fan of something since it began, so glee is in a rare category of TV for me. It's been ups and downs being a fan of this show but now that the finale is airing tonight, I seem to only be able to remember the good things Glee has brought to my life. I may not be the hardcore glee fan I once was (more on that later) but I'm still a fan to the bitter end. This show was always changing its tone and trying to be something meaningful, impactful, and yet silly and ridiculous most of the time. Don't get me wrong, there were definitely episodes that had me crying (Choke; Goodbye) and others that were some of my all-time favorite TV episodes ever (Original Song). The problem I had with glee were the plotline inconsistencies and (in my opinion) character development mistakes. What always brought me back were the musical numbers. Those freaking musical numbers! They will always be my absolute favorite part of the show. 

But this isn't a review of glee, I wanted to write this post because glee really did affect my life. No matter how much I'd like to think otherwise, it changed me. 

Glee got me to love singing again and was part of my decision to take singing lessons once again. I sang in my high school choir and loved performing and learning new songs but after high school I didn't look for choirs in college. I didn't have any outlet for performing or singing acapella until glee came along. I'll never forget the moment I saw the pilot's closing scene (Don't Stop Believin'). I was sitting downstairs in our TV room and got chills when Mr. Shue hears the kids singing. Instead of quitting his job at the school, he decides to work with the misfit group of kids. *tear* 

Paramount Lot Tour where Glee filmed!

Glee brought me friends that I never would have met otherwise. Glee was my first "fandom" experience and I'll never forget it. I met friends through twitter and various other social media platforms all because I found people who also loved Glee. It introduced me to things like Starkid and Darren Criss who took me all the way to NYC to see him perform on Broadway and Chicago to see a Starkid fundraiser. I went to places and events that I wouldn't have known about if glee hadn't introduced them to me. Even the friends I made through my new fandom (supernatural) are truly because I learned how to communicate with fellow fans online and develop friendships through the glee fans first. While most of my glee friends and I aren't friends anymore, I did meet some cool people and discovered things about myself that I might not have without meeting them.

At the Glee panel during 2011 Paley Fest

Glee helped me gain confidence to believe in myself at a time when I was losing sight of who I was. I was struggling in my faith and needed something to remind me that I matter and I have a voice to be heard. Thankfully I've found my faith again but glee kept me afloat when I was looking for positive things in my life. I needed glee to help me learn my strengths and discover that being different or being "weird" was alright. It helped me accept things about myself that I hadn't previously accepted. It helped me see the world in a different way and I couldn't be more grateful.

            

   

One day I'll write a thank you letter to Rachel Berry, who I have always loved and continue to love to this day. She was a bitch, yes, but she inspired me to be stronger and fight for what I want in life. Lea Michele's voice remains the voice I dream to have one day. You can't tell me that she didn't break your heart once or twice. No one cry-sings like Rachel. 

The show failed in many ways to truly address/represent lots of groups of people, but you can't say it didn't at least try to broaden your horizons and provide a new view of people you may not have thought much of before watching the show. 

Glee will always hold a special place in my heart for all the reasons above and about a million more that I couldn't fit onto one blog post. Glee will always remind me of a time in my life when I was discovering who I was and challenging old ways of thinking about  not only my own self-worth but also how I interact with the world around me. 

Someday I'll write out a proper essay on glee (yes, I am THAT nerd that misses writing pop culture papers for class) but for now this is what I have. A look back on the show that I love/hated and will never forget. 


Thank you glee.  

IF: Gathering

I have so many thoughts about the IF: Gathering women's conference I attended this weekend that I'm having a hard time collecting all my thoughts and the sermons/speakers associated with each breakthrough I had. The conference was so much better and more powerful than I had ever imagined, which shows you just how little I expect of God...silly me.

I want to share all of the scriptures and thoughts that speakers like Christine Caine, Jo Saxton, Jen Hatmaker, and others gave on trusting in God's goodness, taking that step of faith into the unknown, and being bold and courageous to follow the path God has made for you. But they were so rich in depth that I'll have to wait until some videos are placed online to share the power/impact of their words with you. I even purchased a pre-ordered DVD of the entire conference because I knew God had more for me in those sermons and I wasn't even taking notes (...again silly me!).

What I can share with you are my thoughts and action plans in response to what I heard and felt God leading me into for the next chapter of my life. While there isn't ONE clear path for me, I feel stronger in my desire to be a bridge builder between Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Transgender + community and Jesus than ever before. The entire conference was about empowering women in our communities and freeing women to take bold steps of faith in things that others might fear walking into. Maybe it's because I've had difficult personal conversations about my own sexuality with close friends or maybe it's because God truly is laying a foundation for me to follow Him into, but I couldn't help but think about my LGBT+ brothers and sisters the entire weekend. I cried for a lot of reasons at the conference, but none more than thinking about how deeply I desire for Jesus to break through the walls our culture and society have built between these two groups. I want to walk around the walls, for days and days, and then YELL with a mighty ROAR to have those walls crumble to the ground like in Joshua 6 with the walls of Jericho.

I'll tell you right now... I'm scared. I have no idea what response I'll get or what success I'll have in starting something that I haven't seen done before. But I feel a movement in my spirit to take bolder steps and see how God comes through for me. Honestly, I might sound like I have some grand plan or blueprint that I'm looking at but there's nothing except the dark unknown. All I have is a leading in my heart and faith that if I act I will see God do mighty things. I'm tired of just waiting. I'm tired of just hoping but doing nothing to see change. So here I am God. Shaking and trembling, but faithful. Let's see what you have for me and for this broken world.

As is typical at conferences like this, they usually have some response/action to solidify what God placed in our hearts and this conference was no exception. They had us write on rocks (and thankfully we got to keep ours) to represent the building blocks of faith for what God stirred in our hearts. Below is my rock along with the necklace they gave us.

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" Joshua 1:9

There are more discoveries I had this weekend, but I'll save those for another post. This feels like a good place to instead turn the tables and ask you..What is God calling you to step into? What holds you back from following Him into what He's calling you towards?

I'd love to hear from you in the comments below OR through email at: engannon@gmail.com

Blessings my friends.

February Hopes and Dreams

At the end of each month you'll see a lot of posts reflecting on the month that is ending, but this month I want to instead offer some of my hopes for what the month ahead could include!

February:

I hope that you are a month filled with rejuvenation and renewal. I'm not sure if any co-workers read this blog, but it's kinda funny because at work the word "renewal" isn't always a good thing. I'll explain if anyone wants details on that, BUT! On this blog it is always a welcomed and often requested occurrence.  I pray that I find new ways to experience joy and find little things that make me happy each day.

I hope to grow deeper in my current friendships as well as learn how to get rid of toxic relationships in my life (personally and professionally). There have been a few new friends that I am hoping to spend more time with and grow deeper in our trust and friendship this month!

I hope to begin a more regular and constant exercise routine that is realistic as well as challenging! During my time in an urban internship back in 2008-2010 I kept a routine with morning workouts and I experienced an intense feeling of accomplishment as I continued to meet my goals and even saw some weight loss! Let's begin this pattern again in February!

I hope to gain more control over my spending by continuing to budget, as I mentioned in my previous post, and begin a savings plan for the long-term. I just had a conversation with one of my dearest friends about possible future plans and travels so I really need to get my shit together so these plans actually have a chance to happen! This doesn't even include the planned trips to Vegas in March and Dallas, TX in September of this year. When did I become such a traveler?

And lastly, I hope to grow in my relationship with God and practice more spiritual disciplines so that I can feel closer to God. It's perfect timing too because my small group study is learning about spiritual disciplines, so I already have an easy jumping off point to begin this habit. I can't keep circling around my faith and avoiding the hard questions about what I believe unless I'm willing to experience God in new ways and through new practices. This is more of a life-long hope/dream but I'll add a brief comment here: I hope to continue a dialogue about sexuality, gender, identity, and God's love for all people with God and not just the world around me. Christians and non-Christians alike want to give me their thoughts and opinions about what to believe, what is right, what is wrong, and everything in between. Well I'm ready for God to step in and give His twosense now. So let's hope and trust in a God that speaks and answers us when we call.

What hopes and dreams do you have going into this new month? I'd love to hear what you're hoping for in the comments below.