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All Our Love Holiday Card

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WHOA.

Time is flyin' by these days. I feel like I have so much to write about and yet nothing at all. I'm not sure I can actually write out entire paragraphs at this point, but I do want to update some things that have been going on for the past 2 months or so:

• I'm applying to return to school to get my Masters in Cinematic Arts; specifically Critical Studies for the Fall 2013. 
• Taking TOOK the required GRE (which is a graduate school entrance exam) on Thursday, November 8th. 
• Been spending all my free time at coffee houses studying and trying to re-learn my entire high school education. 
• Realized just how awesome I am at algebra
• Realized how awesomely bad I am at all other math.
• Finishing up my actual school application which is due December 1st. 
• Looking forward to being done with this whole process and resting through the holidays. 
• Hopefully not stressing too much about whether I get in or not. 
• I enjoy making lists.
• I also enjoy wearing rings and watches. 
• I believe I'm starting a watch collection. I keep finding new watches that I love! 

One great thing that I've learned/remembered about myself in this process is how much I love academics. Even though I wanted to rip my eyes out studying ratios, exponents, and fractions, I still loved having something to study. I love working long hours on papers, researching topics, discussing viewpoints and discovering new ideas! This whole thing has really motivated me even more to get into grad school and pursue the academic study of media's influence both culturally and emotionally on us as people and as a society. 

I hope to make a new video this weekend and get back into the swing of things here as well! 

Humbled. Inspired. Moved.

I'm a frequent YouTuber at this point and everyday I look at my subscriptions to see who posted a video, what new videos I can watch, and look for others to subscribe to. This has become a habit, especially working in an office that has a "slow season" which we find ourselves in currently.

One of those subscriptions is for a channel called SoulPancake. It honestly teeters on the edge of my subscriptions because some stuff I find boring or useless (Sorry!) but this newest upload has me humbled, inspired, and moved.

Please Watch before you continue.

It came out of nowhere, because like I said, SoulPancake is hit or miss with me lately. But this hit home and hit hard. This couple seems so strong and positive that it almost is unbelievable. And that's not on them, but rather on me and my cynicism. Watching the "clip" I felt humbled to have my health and my family and the life that I have right now. I felt inspired to live an even better life and to love myself and then have the capacity to spread that love to others. Then, I felt moved to tears AND action. Tears because...C'mon did you SEE the video?? Who doesn't feel for this guy? But then action because if he can do something to encourage and change the world, we all can! And I love that he didn't say any specific political agenda, religion (even though I read into what he said a bit), or environmental cause. He encourages us simply to

"cultivate a sense of love and community where you live, where you work, and where you play." 

 Sure, he gives us his examples of doing these things (shopping locally, etc.) but he allows us to make this commitment on our own terms and in the ways that work for us and our unique communities. So let's honor him and promise to cultivate love and community wherever life takes us! 

Today, as I write this, I'm having a pretty shitty work day. Excuse my language. But it's true and in order to not spread the anger and bitterness that I really want to scream out at people, I'm going to leave these feelings at work for the evening and instead choose love. I'm going to remember how blessed I am to have a job. I'm going to remember that people like Ryan Wood exist and that makes it worth it to continue. 

This next part is going to make this post SUPER SIZED but I feel it's important to say at this point. Some know of my struggles in my faith and some don't. Some know that I do call myself a Christian but that I've been doubting basically everything I've been taught for the better part of 2 years now. It's been a pretty dark season for me and honestly I don't know when it'll "end" or how it will resolve. 

This video, however, feels so timely and pertinent to me that I cannot help but attribute it to God. I know some here don't share my  faith and I do not mean to impose or offend. But let's be honest, this is my blog and these are the things on my mind. So stay with me! I feel as though God allows us space to explore, question, yell, and doubt Him. Within that space, He sends reminders that He's still there and ready for us to return. I'm not at a point ready to return or fully proclaim restoration and all that jazz...but I am in a place ready to acknowledge these moments when I feel reached out to or reminded. 

Thanks for the reminder Big Guy ;) And thank YOU person who read this WHOLE blog post! Thanks for sticking with me!

Lastly, while his updates aren't frequent lately (as I'm sure you understand why) he does have a blog and he is still writing when he has the energy. I do encourage you to read it to keep up with him and his family. He is a Christian, so his blog is definitely more pointed than the video...but no less inspirational: http://www.grassrootsconspiracy.com/blog/ 

As always, I'd love to hear from you. Comments are always welcomed <3