Thursday, January 28, 2016

Thank you Kaiser

This week marks the end of my Kaiser Depression Care Management. While I am still seeing my MFT (Marriage & Family Therapist) I have been discharged by my depression manager because I have shown significant decrease in my depression symptoms.

You see, each time I saw her we went over 10+ questions to help determine the severity of my depression. These are some of the hardest questions to answer when you're in the thick of it, because it forces you to say outloud what you might want to keep in your head. Questions like: In the past 2 weeks, have you struggled to find 1 thing that you enjoy doing? And the responses vary from "Not at All" (Meaning you've found pleasure in something each day) all the way to "Most Days" (Meaning you could not enjoy even 1 thing for the majority of the past 2 weeks).

When I first began, my answers varied from several days to most days struggling to enjoy activities, feeling isolated/forgotten. I was tired most of the time, was overeating (which is one of the questions they ask), feeling unworthy and forgotten by most people in my life. The biggest hurdle was struggling to make decisions. ANY decision felt extremely overwhelming. Even deciding what to have for dinner would bring me to tears (on my worst days) because I just couldn't choose.

The service that Kaiser provided was almost like a Depression Coach. I would meet with her every 2 weeks and we would talk about things I enjoyed doing. I shared how I loved Zumba when I was doing it but felt that I couldn't physically handle that anymore. She would then provide me with other options, like going for a walk, just to get some physical activity and start there. That's all. She didn't suggest trying Zumba again (until we were months into the process) which was a relief. The entire process was about taking steps, no matter how big or small, to start enjoying life again.

Her motto was "Getting ready... to be ready... to step back into life" and I absolutely loved it. It was an accessible way for someone who couldn't even decide what to eat to commit to walk for 2 days a week. Then 3 days. The biggest goal was getting good sleep. I was sleeping from 6pm-9pm and then up until 1am. Some days I would go to bed at 10pm and wake up at 3am and not be able to go back to sleep until 6am. IT. WAS. MISERABLE. I know sleep is important, but through Kaiser I also learned that it's a key element to my depression and something I must always keep monitored. Bad sleep = slipping into depression (for me personally).

Without going into each and every detail of my recovery, I just wanted to give Kaiser a shout-out for their help and support with my depression. I've learned how to better care for myself both in happy times and in sad times so that I don't slip back down into the depths of depression like I did before. I'm not sure where I would be without my Depression Care Manager (who I will miss talking with. She was AWESOME).

If you have Kaiser and find yourself looking for help, I HIGHLY recommend this service. It's at no additional cost and it quite literally saved my life. Feel free to message me or email me if you have questions. I'd be so happy to help in whatever ways I can as someone who had such a positive experience with this member benefit.

Here's to mental health and giving yourself a fighting chance to overcome the darkness life can bring.

xo

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