Tuesday, October 18, 2011

All the Single Ladies (and Men)..

"Speak Up! No one will know how to help you, if they don't know you need help"

This was a recent  topic at church and it really struck a personal nerve. The previous sermon was about serving the children in our church and community. It was great because our church is called to the children and youth of the neighborhood. But what struck me was the exclusion of the singles in these discussions of family. What about the single, 20-30 year olds (or more) who make up a large portion of the church? What does the word "family" mean for us? Personally, I was struck at how invisible my singleness seems to be to the larger church. I began to feel very frustrated that I "wasn't included" in discussions about the church family. I asked myself, "Would we ever devote an entire sermon to singles like we have with families?" This thought was in a fit of anger, so take it with a grain of salt, but I think the desire behind it is legitimate. I've read a lot of blogs talking about singles in churches and how complicated it can be is for the church to include singles where families are the main focus...so this isn't some radical new topic. But for many of us singles, it's too much of an emotional and complicated issue to be ignored.

So I talked to a few friends to gauge how legit my emotional response was to the sermon (sometimes my emotions are terrible judges of what actions to take). Overall, the response was similar, which made me want to speak up and let them know that this isn't OK and I'm feeling overlooked. We decided to email the leader who gave the sermon to sit down and discuss how we were feeling. We met recently and the discussion was very helpful and eye-opening for everyone.

I can't say what the outcome in the church will look like, but I'm glad that we spoke up and voiced what our concerns are as people in the church who are single and still need support and inclusion. I pray that we find ways to include all the groups who feel overlooked in church and truly make it a family.

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